爱要耐心等待 仔细寻找 感觉很重要；- 对的人 戴爱玲
宁可空白了手 等候一次 真心的拥抱；
我相信在这个世界上 一定会遇到
对的人出现。
I really believe that we must have the faith that the right person is there waiting for you. There was the ancient Greek story that says humans originally have four arms and legs with a head with two faces, but due to God Zeus's fear of them empowering Him, he split humans into half to let them search for their other half for the rest of their lives. So, I strongly believe that my other half exist and he's there waiting for me =P
Just felt like sharing some thoughts here because I saw some friends and relatives of mine who are struggling in their relationships, and when it's time to let go, they just can't do it, because it's either they are too afraid to lose their current boyfriend, or they just don't believe they can find someone better than their previous partners. Even myself have gone through and I know how hard is it to let go of someone you deeply loved before. (We must have faith!) Anyway, I cannot define what and how is it like to be your Mr Right
Throwing all above aside, the situation nowadays might have changed. In this fast-paced generation like us, changing partners might be as fast as changing your contacts lens =P (what a description!@@ haha pfft)
Bad because relationships that develop fast, goes away fast as well. 来得快,去得更快! We didn't have the time to really know each other, to get used to each other's lives, and we let ourselves jumped into something we'll regret later. (Yes, I learnt that relationships have to be developed slowly) Yet, there's still the brighter side where we can utilize these technology developments to have a deeper understanding of your other half. As soon as we realized that that person is not the one that you're looking for, you can try again and again and again, to explore the different people that walks into your life. Of course, I don't mean by playing around. And also, provided that you are capable of letting go when it's time to let go. 潇洒地挥手说再见! and probably both of you can be friends again. (And again, I agree, too that we have to explore when we have the chance to, until you're really happy and satisfied).
So, it comes back again to satisfaction. When two person come together, there will definitely be arguments and conflicts, because there's no two same person in this world. We can't read minds, and if humans were given the ability to read minds, life wouldn't be the same again. That's where communication comes in. If both can find a way to communicate effectively, to express themselves, to reach an equilibrium point where conflicts can be balanced, or no conflicts at all, then both can get to know each other more and more, day by day. And soon, the other half might be able to know the other just by a glimpse of an eye contact or body language. That's why there is this thing called 默契。
I'm sure that when you've met the right one, you'll always be happy and satisfied. No matter what both of you are doing, as long as you are together, you'll feel contented, as simple as it is. You won't complain to your peers or jimui-s about his act that upsets you, neither you would posts emo statuses on FB or blog posts (wtf hahaha) just to release your dissatisfaction! You won't try to do extra things to attract his attention nor you would lose your temper easily for small matters. Because he gives you what you want, he satisfies your needs, attention and assurance, he constantly cares for you and your feelings, and he's smart enough to sense what his girlfriend really wants. Vice versa, if a girl satisfies his boyfriend's expectations and demands, and is smart enough to know the do-s and don't s, the (good) boys will stay and will not have the need to find another girl. (yea GOOD ones only hahaha)
Everyone has expectations in their relationships, be it conscious and unconscious ones. I learn that we must first identify our own conscious and unconscious expectations in love, and we must get to know the other half's expectations too. This can really help to avoid unwanted arguments that could destroy a relationship. Conscious ones are like: He needs to be tall/smart/handsome/rich/love me etc while unconscious ones are like : He has to help me take my bag or open the door for me/ He has to apologize to me after a fight/ He has to be ambitious and hardworking in his career etc etc. There's more and more to list down. But of course, we must also identify which ones are the essential ones, ones that are the priority and also the secondary ones. We can't be greedy cause there's no Mr. Perfect! We have to identify our differences and fully accept it! And that's where tolerance takes place.
When two different people can't tolerate their differences, it's either they stop the relationship or one of them have to change their behavior (which is hard) Also, we can't change a person. Hence, why is it so important to date someone a few times or get to know someone for a certain amount of time first before getting really committed into the relationship? When there's a realization that both of you are different, and it causes arguments and unhappiness, people tend to ignore it, or naively hope that one day he or she will change for him/her. We always have that 'try first, then see how' tendency, not knowing that feelings will eventually develop deeper and deeper, until one day you are unable to let him/her go although you both know that both are not suitable for each other. If so, they only will stay in constant unhappiness, and it causes both parties to be tired of each other soon.
Hence, finding that person which makes you happy and satisfied is crucial. Both of them are satisfied with just the way their partners are, both can accept their differences and flaws and yet still sees the best in each others eyes.
For those who are already in a happy and healthy relationship, cherish them!! Cause at the end of the day, it is you who decide who'll be your Mr./Mrs Right!
Quote of the day:
So these are my definition of a Mr Right, how about you? =D
ps: My Mr. Right, where are you? =P
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