The year 2011, the year that I would always remember. This is the year that i turned 20, the year I traveled across oceans to a country alone, the year I traveled and explored many countries, the year I made friends from different nations, the year I learned to be truly independent. It is also the year I realized the vulnerability of love, the year I discovered what qualities I'm really seeking in my future partner, the year I learned how to accept and let go things that couldn't be changed. Lastly, it is the year I reflected the past mistakes or imperfections inside me, which I am going to amend it all to become a better person.
Every year, we came up with some new year resolutions for ourselves, trying to cast out the bad habits while replacing it with good ones. Most people would wanna change their bad habits such as getting late to work/school, quitting smoking and drink less, having willpower to exercise more, sleep early or building new goals as in getting good grades, improving their social skills, and even getting a branded bag or their first tattoo in life etc. Writing new year resolutions are indeed something we are excited and looking forward to because it signifies we have a whole new year for us to do the things we haven't start doing or stopped doing. So have you had your list of resolutions yet? XD
For me, the year 2012, I'm gonna focus a lot on self improvements! =P
1. Good grades. At least a cgpa 3.5 above.
2. Live a healthy lifestyle. Which means sleeping early and exercising regularly.
3. Better time management and less spending.
4. Keep a positive mindset. What you think is what you get.
5.Love myself first, before trying to love others.
This is five main objectives I have to achieve during the year 2012. Of course, the list still goes on such as making more friends, be more confident, continue my french language etc. But these are the five things I would really wanna improve. And i would like to share some thoughts on my fifth resolution, which is the one thing I would really drill into my mind and change this bad habit that bugs me for years. If I can achieve loving myself and always putting my happiness on priority, then the other objectives are just secondary.
This is what a good friend told me, and I'm sure I'm not going through this alone. Since young, I'm someone who constantly lives other people's life without knowing that this can contribute unhappiness to myself. I always thought that I have to do my best to fulfill what my relatives/friends/boyfriend need to make them happy, so in turn they will naturally treat me good. I'm always putting other people's happiness before my own happiness. When there's a decision that I have to make, in big or small matters, I would choose to adjust and comply in accordance to that person, and I place my happiness on people I care about a lot. Maybe its because, I'm afraid of rejection, I'm afraid of loneliness and I'm afraid of the way people look at me. Or maybe because, I didn't get the recognition that I wanted from young and that's why, I'm always looking for acknowledgment and approval from the people around me.
I'm sure that everyone in this world are equally afraid of rejection and loneliness as me. We are foolishly trying to impress people because we cared so much about the views of ourselves from a third party. Have you experienced something like that? Have you did something you are reluctant to do but because of the sake of making the other person happy, you still choose to do it? Have you been so sensitive and get upset because of some friend's random opinion of you? Or get angry because they carelessly left you out in some outings or occasions? I did. I've been upset about these things and get bothered easily with how people view about me. But after so many years, I've learned and am still learning to change this wrong concept of mine. I have to love myself more instead of sacrificing my happiness for people who don't value me.
We should always remember, our own happiness in life is our main priority. Before doing anything, ask ourselves, Am I happy doing this? Am I willingly giving? Because giving is happy but sacrificing is not. There's always people in need, but there's always enough for everyone. Maybe you will say that this is selfish, but it's not at all. Because when you don't have to capacity to love yourself, you don't have the capacity to love others. I guess all of these are related. Good friends know that I'm indecisive. One of the reason is because I'm always afraid of how this decision can affect how people look at me. I used to be that goody-goody person but at the end of the day, I don't feel good at all.
Our happiness is up to our own hands to control. If we treat that person good, but that person doesn't treat us that way, we shouldn't be upset because this makes you realize who really values you. I will not place all happiness on someone, instead I will take charge of my life and direct my own happiness. Just stay positive and be confident of ourselves! Trust ourselves that we are beautiful, we are smart, we are capable and we are going to be successful!
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Anyway, there are some photos of the countries I've been this year, there's a total of 10 countries! 9 European countries and Singapore XD I've failed to blog about each and every country at the end! arrgh fail me! sorrriiiiieeeee LOL. So now I'm gonna do a very very lil compensation here. haha.
The country i stayed for 5months!
1. France. The fond memories of mine.
*Paris, I'm really missing you, from the bottom of my heart. You've lighten up my life XD
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| With beloved Jeressa. |
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| With beloved friends! |
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| Buying groceries every week! |
2. Spain. A place where rainbow colors can be seen. Magnificent and culturally defined.
3.. Italy. A place full with passion and love.
5. Netherlands. Amsterdam is indeed unique! *red light district wohoo! XD
8. Monaco. The second smallest country in the world. Its also just a day trip when we visited the southern part of France. Hehee.
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| St. Peter's Basilica. The most prominent building there! |
10. Singapore. Refer to HERE. haha XD
It's the last day of 2011!!! Before we proceed to a whole new year, lets be thankful of what God had arranged for us throughout this year. I'm thankful for each and everyone that comes into my life and leaves an unforgettable memory in my heart. I'm thankful for friends that constantly cares for me and stands firm by me, I'm thankful for the people that loves me and cherish me at all times. I'm thankful for my parents and family members that loves me unconditionally. I'm thankful for all the life experiences and wisdom I gained and I'm thankful for all the happy and bittersweet moments I have. Let's forget all the bad memories and forgive our mistakes that we did in the past, and welcome the new year with new hopes and joy.
Happy New Year everyone!!! =)
With a heart filled with love,
Sue Jean <3
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